Wednesday, August 4, 2010

You Shouldn't Have!!!

Yesterday I was chatting with a good friend, Dave, and he said something that really stuck with me; "this is the last time I give unsolicited life advice," which wasn't entirely true because I had actually asked him for advice on something. However, I greatly appreciated the sentiment and continue to think that should be on the tip of everyone's mind.

Nobody Wants Your Advice
There is one time when this statement may not be true, which is when you are asked for advice. Even then, many still don't want your advice as much as they want a voice of consent; offer them this and you'll be appreciate, offer them a differing message and you'll be quietly dismissed. A perfect example of the person who asks for but doesn't want advice is person x who has just begun dating person y. X says they wonder what it means when Y tells them to stop calling; "it probably means they don't like you," is the obvious answer. Yet it will fall on deaf ears.

Strangers giving you advice can go any number of ways. You may read this blog for advice but let me assure you any time I've written about how you should act, I've been fucking around. I don't believe it, but if you want to, I really don't care. Anyway. I've received a lot of advice from strangers since I am amongst them all day for work. I've always worked for strangers, now as a salesman and before in the restaurant industry, every now and again the sun does shine on the dog's asshole and someone drops a gem on you:

"Always set a goal for failure," a blues musician told me at My Linh, "if you succeed it's a nice, and welcome surprise, but when you fail at least you succeeded in hitting your goal."

Obviously he was joking but not 100%. I find in situations when something seems impossible it's best to believe I'll succeed, I plan to succeed, but if I fail I remember this guy and think about the fact that, on some level, I knew the impossibility of the situation.

More often though, the advice you receive from strangers come from people who haven't the slightest idea of how you live your life, how you interact with your friends, and what kind of person you are. Often people will think they are wise because of age - which, in my opinion is a farce. People are wise. Age is experience, not wisdom. Yes, maybe they have been through a similar situation to the one you are going through but problems are like snowflakes.

TONY ROBBINS IS AN ASSHOLE because there are no 1SizeFitsAll solutions to shit, there just isn't.

I'm not telling you to stop giving advice, go forth and try your best, I really don't give a shit. I'm just saying that nobody is listening so do yourself a favor and get a cat or a dog. Or two cats and a dog...that's my audience and still, I get the feeling nobody is listening.

***Dave, I did want your advice and thanks again for it!***

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