Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Improvements For The World

Here are some slight tweaks, inventions, or innovations that would really advance mankind...probably womankind too.

  1. COUNTING CASH REGISTERS. Everybody has gotten into the express lane at the grocery store, thinking to themselves that it'll be just a few minutes in line and then back home to drink their beers and eat their pretzels buuuuuttt nooooooooo...some asshole has decided to use the 15 items or less line as their own whipping post. There there are, two carts ahead, with 37 items. These people should be shot but this may be illegal so instead I propose cash registers that will not scan after a certain amount of items. For example, at item 15 it literally stops scanning. The moron can continue but they must start at the back of the line with whatever items they have.
  2. FITTED SHEET BOXES. Show me one fucking person who knows how to fold these things without eventually just rolling it up and shoving them into the corner of some drawer. FUCKING SHOW ME A PERSON!?!?! You can't! Martha Stewart literally dribbles little spots of urine at the site of these sheets. All we need is a decorative box that fits them perfectly. That way I can still stack them in a drawer, only without the Catholic guilt (note: I'm an atheist but the guilt lives strongly on.)
  3. ADJUSTED PARKING TICKETS. Having recently received a ticket of my own I'm quick to point out the flaw here. I literally could have left my car in it's spot for another hour and my ticket would have been the same. Doesn't it make sense to pay per minute you are past due? Two additional notes, if you're a "shopping street" and the meters max out at an hour you're losing money, you should complain. Secondly, is; "it's already started, I can't stop it now," the only thing they teach you at Meter Bitch School?
  4. PICTURE PLACEMENT ON BLOGSPOT. You either know what I'm talking about or you don't, thus this will end number four.
  5. USA JOBS. I don't want more jobs added, like most people, in fact I care very little about this, I feel like if you're unemployed and looking it'll eventually turn out in your favor. Good luck, I certainly hope the best for you but that isn't what I'm talking about right now. I've gone 3 years without a raise or added vacation time yet I'm asked to work harder with more responsibility. I am not alone in this, I know many people who have very similar stories. I ran into someone today who works in the same industry and he has double the vacation time that I get, despite his title being several steps below mine. My responsibilities are triple his yet his pay is just behind mine. It made me really sad to think of the fucking untold hours I've put my personal life on hold for my company only to be told that my personal stock is not going up. Maybe this is a personal battle but I do feel the US is expected to work hard and the only pay of is more hard work. No furthered mental stimulation, no benefit increase, pay increases perhaps but they will be small, and certainly no increased vacation because we want everyone to know that work comes first, life comes when you retire...you know, just before you die.
Those are just a few little ideas I have, do you have any that I overlooked? I'm interested to hear them!!

1 comment:

RyRy said...

1) I agree with ya on this one.....but I won't lie when I think I have had 16 or 17 items, SORRY!

2) I have never even tried and probably never will...

3) Don't even get me started on the ticket situation in this city....ok, let me say a lil something. FUCK the LAW ENFORCEMENT IN LOS ANGELES. Now it is a ticket for every lil thing if you have all your tags and plates. But they never give tickets to the people driving with no plates, too dark tints, etc. It puzzles me to the max.

4) Center is always the best

5) I agree 1000% with you on this topic. I busted my ass for hydra for a while and in the long run they pretty much just took my hard work for granted a barely noticeable raise and even when taking vacation you are still expected to do as much work as you would while at work. But for some reason I still do it....I am programed. WORK is life....then do what you can which is what I am trying to improve on.