Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Air Conditioner

Los Angeles suffered through a mini heat wave a few weeks ago. On average the temperatures reached highs of really fucking hot and lows of still really fucking hot. So, I snapped into action and began sweating like a fat Greek* guy breathing. After about a day of that I decided to internet myself some air conditioners, four seconds into my online journey I opted for a DIY project in lieu of buying one (okay, we also bought one but I still did all this shit.)

*I have no real inclination to believe that the Greeks sweat more than Englishmen, Frenchmen, or any other ___men, save for a friend growing up named John who later became addicted to heroin. He sweat a lot and told me that it was a Greek thing. I didn't believe him but still, it's easy to site.

My habit is to look up plans, pull out the Ikea directions, or stare at a picture and then just make it up as I go, with a loose idea of what I'm doing. Sort of like the first time one has sex. You sort of know what your doing except, unlike the instructional videos you stole from your parents, you don't have a mustache.

So this is what I did....

Unrolled copper tubing around a fan. And as you can see I had help. They were like my very own Al Borland and Pamela Anderson.

Then I attached them with zip-ties. When I was a child zip-ties were the reason we let grandpa come to Christmas, as he was the only one who carried a knife and could cut them off. He also brought alcohol.

Cut plastic tubing, the same size as the copper you bought, into 2 pieces about 6 feet in length. Note: you can literally cut them to any length you want I just said 6 so it sounded more official. Then connect a plastic piece to each end of the copper jobber.

picture missing
need a fucking picture
for this?

You hook up this little jobber which you buy from a really sketchy aquarium shop in LA. You'll know you're at the right shop because they have puppies in the window, most of them invisible to shoppers - hidden away except for their barks. When you walk in the clerks will be a brother and a sister, the later being the older responsible one of...let's say 12. Anyway, you'll trust these people with your life because you'll later drop this (very much plugged in item) into a tank of water and hope for the best. Oh yeah, by hooking it up, you put one of the plastic ends into the outward pump-a-ma-job.

Drag this contraption where you want it and pull a cooler in next to it. Basically what you do know is drop the pump into the cooler of water and run the other plastic tube into the same cooler. The water will run through the coils, copper stays cool - as does water, and the fan will blow on those coils and cool the room down by like 10 degrees. You can put ice into the cooler (with water of course) and it works even better!!

It's pretty awesome!!! Or it would be if I had done it right. I mean, I did it right except it leaked where the plastic hit the copper. To fix this I used used a couple zip ties coiled down tightly at the joints but not before Mona gave me the look of disapproval.

"My Daddy is an idiot. He can't do anything right!!!"

Mona was embarrassed, I was sweating and Georgia hit me...I totally deserved it though, it was only done to teach me so I totally appreciated it then, and still do.

Anyway, after blowing out the water I hacked it with the zip-ties and plugged everything in for one more go-round.

Anxiously, Mona watched on...wanting badly to give her approval.

He's the smartest! Man! Ever!

And then my beautiful fiancee hit me again!

**Georgia never hit me (well..."never" is a funny word isn't it?)

1 comment:

RyanB said...

Damn MacGruber!! I am impressed!