Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Airing dirty laundry

Matt is from Texas, he's a great guy. We have worked together for the past 3-4 years and he's grown so much over that time. He's always been a health and fitness type of guy but now he's more aerobic than weight lifting. Recently Matt married his girlfriend and he's actually lost about 40lbs (note: he was never fat but now he's skinny and in shape.) I used to pick up produce once a week from a co-op, he still does that and is looking into buying sides of grass-fed beef from a local farmer. Before, years ago, he used to make some inappropriate jokes about things...those days are over, he seems to have traded them for a sweeter, softer side.

As it is with all people though, some things just never change. Today at a meeting I told Matt that I was moving, actually he overheard me asking for use of a company van.

"Y'all," Texas remember, "move more than any group of people I've ever met."

"I'm moving in with my girlfriend at the end of the month," he smiled when I told him, he was formulating something to say.

And low, his response was the best I've heard yet; "do you like her or you just want to save money?"

It's the locker room version of him, slowly dying, he asked how long before I get a ring and all of those questions as well. Only with an air of sincerity that has grown in the past years, also the reason people love him and the reason he's become a fantastic sales rep.

Of course I'm not moving in with Georgia to save money, I'm very much in love with her and I hope that I get the rest of my stupid life with her. Whenever I start plucking down words into this blog I have to force myself not to dedicate each post to her, it's a lot more difficult a task than you may imagine. There will be posts about moving sooner or later, this is just one story of something I'm not sad to never do again....laundry...by hand.

Because I hate the laundromat as much as I hate parties where I don't know a single person I did my best to avoid them these past 14 months. After leaving an apartment with a washer and dryer the idea of sitting in an odd place pumping money into a machine was horrible, I mean, I hate Vegas and those machines might make you rich (note: they won't) but these machines might just lose your socks, thats about the most exciting thing.

So I, pretty literally, took matters into my own hands. And let me finally come clean here today and say that I in no way, shape or form did I buy this machine to go "green," despite what you may have heard. Believe me, when looking down two gun barrels one that reads "Good Guy" and the other reads "Scared of People" I'll opt for the alliteration every time. So I bought a hand crank washing machine and this is how it works.

You fill this guy up with dirty clothes, water, and soap.

Then you just screw the top on, grab that handle thing and start turning. It's air tight (obviously or else it'd be a mess) and it's pressurized so as you turn the soap is constantly pulling through the material...that's what the directions say at least and I've yet been called stinky.

You can see the blue bucket in the sink, that is filling with cold water, which, according to my 3 days on the job as a large appliance salesman, rinses water much more efficiently than does hot water. The next step is to let the water drain out of the tub and then fill it up with the cold water for a quick rinse.

From here I'll just pull all the clothes out and give them one more quick rinse in the sink.

(I took a picture of this...it looks like a sink full of socks, I would honestly post it here but I think you can guess what a sink full of socks looks like and you can allow me a few minutes back of my time. Of course typing all of this out actually took about the same amount of time, now more due to this tag on but as you can see by my laundry methods, "saving time," isn't always my first interest.)

Then put the clothes in the dryer.

In about 4/1's the time (yes, I reversed that fraction of purpose) you've done about 1/4's the amount of laundry you could do by simply driving 4 blocks to the laundromat! Life is really beautiful isn't it!?

Now listen, I realize this doesn't seem very green but I don't really care, that angle sort of worked, for the most part. All that really matters is I'm gladly leaving this form of laundry right where it belongs, in the "lonely bachelor" days of my 29's. Onward to washing machines, cats and dog playing together, porch swings, sailboats, and most her.

Somewhere along the lines someone handed me a scratcher for life, I'm finally scratching off the last little bit of that weird silver shit to reveal the life that I actually get. Who knew it'd be pretty awesome? I've always been lucky with scratchers.


Exit 11 said...

My disdain for doing laundry is very strong...I can't even do my own anymore! I found a place that will do it for $.75 a lb. It ends up being about $15 every two weeks. Totally worth it to not ever have to sit in a laundry mat and watch spanish soap operas while I contemplate my next meal. No longer do I have to try to pretend I know how to fold underwear or painstakingly match my socks for 1/2 hour. This is what adulthood and a 9-5 job has afforded me. Of course, there was a point where I could've gone the extreme opposite direction and not given a shit about my own laundry, but still would harass everyone with a washing machine because it's "bad for mother earth, man..." Luckily with enough hippie haters around me I was saved. Thanks for this post and thanks for pointing out that doing your laundry this way was not, in any way, an attempt at "going green".

SeaEych said...

I'm nothing if not honest...that's not even true, even if I were lying I'd still be tall, handsome, good looking, and handsome while I was fibbing.

What I don't get is if you also don't like Spanish soap operas. You do right? You would just rather watch them from your own couch, right?