Monday, April 26, 2010

Look out Florida! Arizona wants to be the crazy state!

Making a bid to out-crazy Florida, Arizona signs a new law called "we're crazy, somewhat Nazi, definitely racists...law." Basically, if a police officer has reason to believe someone is in the country illegally they detain that person.

About 31% of Arizona's population is of Latin or Hispanic decent. I cannot find the statistics but I'm fairly certain that 1 or 2 police officers must have recently checked a box other than "white" on the census form.

I hope they start detaining every single white person they come across and hold them under the suspicion that they are illegally in the country from Canada. I mean, let's face it Arizona, you are filled with crazy old white people who, just a few months ago, claimed that Canadians were coming to your state in search of health care...now you have the means to round those fuckers up and arrest the shit out of them.

Another idea to really piss off white republicans - everyone learn and use Spanish exclusively. Listen I love Thomas Jefferson as much as the next guy but just because he said we needed a national language doesn't mean we should all get to have 225 slaves does it? Everyone is wrong sometimes and Jefferson may have been wrong about the language thing (he surely was NOT wrong about the religion stuff.)

Here is the real fucking deal. All of the issues you look at today are connected in so many ways, yet American fail to see that. "Mexicans are taking our jobs!! And they ain't payin taxes!!!" Okay, first thing first, they are paying taxes, income taxes paid by employers and sales taxes, but guess what, they don't get to use Social Security or DBI or Medicare, so it's almost a bonus for us. Unless they're paid under the table which is the business owners fault (9.2% of Arizona business are owned by Latin/Hispanic, so they are a 10th to blame there.)

Well, it's the illegal drugs. Right, so remind me why they are illegal? Because it's keeping people from using them? No. Because the government shouldn't make money off a death industry...well no, they tax the shit out of cigarettes and alcohol (both contain DRUGS by the way.) So why don't we legalize it? Because the population of white fucktards who are over 50 and now somehow think weed has changed since they smoked it.

Our society is now at the point where most people alive today have smoked weed at one point in their lives. It's illegal because that keeps our jails in business. Of course Arizona is trying to privatize all their prisons, some already are. So we make money...or no wait, we have to pay them money, but they pay taxes back so...so...so it seems like we are continually electing the stupidest members of our society to office.

Of course Mexicans (at this point I'm going to stop pretending the new law is targeting anyone else) are coming to this country because NAFTA taught them how great America is!! That or it completely destroyed their agricultural industries...you know, other than weed. It's now cheaper for Mexicans to buy corn from the US than to grow their own. Thanks to our good pals at Monsanto and our "change" president, not to mention the 2 brahs before him.

The financially poor, the lower middle class, lower class minions of the republican party actually listen, while their life savings disappear, to their leaders telling them that "spreading the wealth" will hurt their chances of being rich. Listen to me very carefully, if you're a fat, white, middle-american-dwelling, citizen who has used the word "nigger" outside of quoting somebody else in disgust you will NEVER BE RICH. Look around, do you see rich people in your neighborhood? No, you know why? No, because you're stupid, which will also hurt your bid for money in the future. So let's not reform the financial system...big government is bad, just the way W. tripled the size.

I'm not saying republicans are to blame, I'm saying stupid white people are always to blame. Fucking ALWAYS! Now, I'm proud to be white...small penises are easy to carry around, moderate jumping skills keep me from ceiling fans, and my perceived ability to think comes in handy too, but in the long run we really are the ass hole race. We ruin countries for a living. Obama is white because, I'm not sure if you knew this but, since 9/11 and since immigrantgate blacks are now white...sorry guys. Guess you won't be getting that 40 acre/mule package we promised.

tl;dr: White people don't like sharing. So we ruin the world for everyone else. Arizona is old and stupid. We could fix problems but that would stop people from being so stupidly rich that they'll never spend all of their money. Obama is white.

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