Thursday, March 4, 2010

Quick Fiction.

I do not have, what you would call a “glass-jaw,” in fact, I’m not even sure where you get one. Well, I should tell you, where I’m going with this is that I was recently in a fight. It was hardly a fight actually. It was totally unfair and I was taken off guard. I was out, somewhere I rarely go, I was in public. This guy hit me in my one weak spot, see I’m particularly susceptible in well, my entire body and face. Well anyway this guy walks up to me and says; “were you just staring at my girlfriend?”

“Is that (pointing) your girlfriend right there?” and he told me it was and I told him how terribly sorry I was and that I had no idea.

He became angry and said; “well what did you think, I’m standing right next to her.”

I said “I’m sorry, how was I supposed to know that this creature is a girl? Surely she's been mistaken for less than human before no?”

And he just hauled off and socked me in the nose. As it turns out, there is one place I can take a punch. I’m not actually sure how I figured this out, but I can take, and it should be noted, that it doesn’t matter how big or strong, or how hard the guy can hit, I can always take a hit in the friend. Sadly that day I was alone.

After he hit me I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. I thought about hitting him back, but opted not to because, as it were, I had just recently learned how badly it hurt to be hit. Although, at the moment I couldn’t remember how I had learned that. He started to walk away as I sat dazed on the sidewalk, or grass, I don’t remember, all that’s important is that I was sitting. Not sitting because I was hurt, but rather because I figured it would be harder for him to hit me again if I stayed low to the ground. And as I was sitting there I was awestruck and couldn’t think of anything to say. He began to walk away and I said, mustering up all kinds of courage, piss and vinegar, and I cheerfully said, “have a good one.”

“Have a good one???” I’m not sure why I said that, maybe because I was confused after being struck down or perhaps because I thought that - passive aggressively - it was the only way to win. Sure enough, he continued to walk away and I started to feel good about my choice, knowing that he was already feeling bad for striking me. I saw him later that day, and he came towards me, but this time with a sorry look on his face and his hand extended as a peace offering. As I reached out to take his hand I instead pushed him into traffic. He was hit by a large truck, which, incidentally I found out later, was only his girlfriend. Last I had heard, they are now happily married and have several stone like children who punch other children about the face whenever the opportunity presents itself.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

damn yo.....shit happens when you party naked with robots!